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Fantasy Art and Comics: Orcs popping the joints of a prisoner damsel on a torture rack.

Divinity Sweatshop


It's Christmas! Time to get religious. In thinking of something to draw, I remembered my fourth-grade music class and one field trip in particular to sing hymns at a nursing home. That's when I saw my first crucifix. It was this huge, in-your-face thing hanging on the wall, and Jesus was all bloody with the look of death on his face. I was so creeped out by that image. I knew religion was a thing, but this made me question the mental stability of those who worshiped this or were even comfortable having this unflattering, post gang-mugging gore fest in everyday sight. It was disgusting. I'm scarred like a Christian snowflake at the sight of a bare breast.

So to make this image more family-friendly, I cleaned up a few things. A bloody man on a crucifix? Let's change that to a lady— don't panic; she's clothed!— on a torture rack. Same idea, right? Oh, wait, it's a sin to estrogenize remakes, so sayeth the fanboys. Oh well, I have a thing for the ladies; deal with it. There's no blood or rolled-back eyes, but the anticipation is there. You expect that Christ's hands are about to split apart from the spikes under his own weight; well, this lady's limbs are about to separate in cartilage-cracking merriment, too! Let's have some orcs manning the crank because virgin birth, dinosaurs on a boat, angels— those sound pretty fantasy-land anyway, so orcs aren't too outlandish.

And there we go! Cover that lady and torture rack in gold, wear it on a chain, and happily proclaim your fetish for tortured people. She died for your reboot misogyny. Happy Holidays! Because #AllHolidaysMatter.